Tuesday, 11 October 2016

The 52 Project: 40/52

'A portrait of my children, once a week, every week in 2016.'

Dear Ruby,
We are definitely feeling the transition into Autumn this week, and one of the consequences of this is that you have become undecided about which is the most appropriate form of footwear - 'sandals or boots?' is a daily dilemma. Whichever footwear you choose, I have started taking the alternative with us too, so if you decide your feet are too warm in boots, you can switch to sandals, and vice versa. You have been asking a lot of questions about why it's getting dark earlier, and have learnt that the weather forecast can give an indication of what the weather might be like at any given moment. When we are out walking, you will often ask, 'is it going to rain?' so we talk about what the clouds look like, and if it 'feels' like it's going to rain. This week, you asked, 'what does the weather cast say today?' Your interest and understanding about the world is so amazing to see.

We have done a good amount of baking and cooking together this week. So often when I am baking for customers, you ask if you can help, and it saddens me to have to say 'no', so I have really appreciated some of the slow afternoons we've had at home where we have baked together for our own consumption while Jude sleeps. Interestingly, if I am baking for a customer and you would rather I would be doing something else, you say, 'take your baking hat off...you need to take your baking hat off.' You are incredibly trustworthy when it comes to stirring pans on the hob - there is no need to remind you not to touch the pan and you take such care when you cook - it is such a pleasure to have your help in the kitchen.

Daddy went to Prague for a couple of days this week, and you were very interested to know what it is like there:
You: 'Is there a water fall there?'
Me: 'No, but there is a river.'
You: 'Is Daddy going to swim in it?'
Me: 'Probably not.'
You: 'Why?'
Me: 'Well, he doesn't have his swimming things with him, and he is working, so he probably won't be able to.'
You: What colour is it?'
Me: 'I expect it looks blue or maybe green, a little bit like the sea.'
You: 'Like my paintbrushes?'

All my love,

Dear Jude,
You cut your first two teeth this week, almost exactly five months after you were born. There have been many occasions over the last seven days where you have simply not wanted to be put down, so I have resorted to cooking with you in the sling on my back, and being able to hand you over to grandparents has been a great relief to my aching arms when Daddy was away in Prague.

I have been trying to remind myself that sleep does not define us, but it certainly shapes us. In a week where you have taken to 5am starts and many, many hours of pacing to calm you to sleep, it is very easy to feel thwarted. Sleep has not come easily to you since you entered the world, and I try to hold the long view that one day, these first months with you will be a faded memory, when you no longer need us to walk with you, endure hours of crying, or hold you to get to slip into slumber.

We adore you, little one.
All my love,
Mama xxx

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