Tuesday, 11 October 2016

The 52 Project: 39/52

'A portrait of my children, once a week, every week in 2016.'
Dear Ruby,
Since Jude was born, you have given up napping, but occasionally you can't quite make it through the day without a little bit of shut-eye. There has been more than one occasion where I have found you asleep in an armchair or on the sofa.

We shared a bath this week, and chatted about the stars. You asked if the stars come out when it's dark and you wanted to know why it gets dark. You have so much to discover about the world and I am excited about helping you learn.
When Daddy came to see us in the bathroom, you said, 'We're just talking about the stars, Daddy.'
All my love,
Mummy xxx

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Dear Jude,
There is a fragmented nature to my thoughts in these early months of motherhood with two children. I often find myself thinking about things I want to write down, but finding the time to write prose is rather challenging when I do not really get time to myself during the day...or evening. So sometimes, I end up writing you short poems. These tend to feel unfinished, but I think that that is ok. It accurately reflects this season of life. I have mentioned before how difficult sleep and feeding have been since you were born, but one thing that I am extremely grateful for is that night time has always been the calmest time for us, which has been quite healing for me.

I'll find you in the dark,
My sweet boy.
Find you in the quiet space that the lull of night time brings.
In the white of sheets and duvets strewn
So carefully to keep you safe,
I'll find you in the dark.

Your tiny snuffles are all the sound I need
To respond and feed
Your tiny tummy that need to be full of milk
Once again. And again, and again.

I'll find you in the dark and you find me.
We don't need light to see in this sacred space.
You shuffle to and fro with great purpose,
Always, always, finding your way
Back to me.

Belly full, you roll, back to your tummy,
Legs tucked up and ready to sleep again.
We repeat this through the dark hours until dawn:
Feed, Roll, Sleep.
Feed, Roll, Sleep.

I'll find you in the dark,
My precious one.

All my love,
Mama.

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