I want to remember...

For the last 18 days I have been basking in the wonder of having a newborn in the house again. There are so many things that I had forgotten about having a newborn, from his tiny squeaks and grunts, to the way he startles so easily - sometimes at a loud sound, sometimes at nothing in particular - just his Moro reflex. I had forgotten the way that newborn babies breathe. It's not the consistent quiet breathing that I have become accustomed to with Ruby. Rather, it's a series of snuffles, short quick breaths, long slow ones and sometimes pausing between breaths, which can be mildly alarming.

I have loved the slow start to our days together, thanks to my kind husband who gets up with our daughter so that Jude and I can carry on sleeping for a few more hours. Each morning during John's paternity leave, the smell of coffee has wafted up the stairs, signalling that it's really time for me to get up and get on with the day. Just minutes later after my nose has detected the wonderful aroma of Square Mile coffee, my husband will appear at our bedroom door, holding a mug of the good stuff, brewed in my favourite way.

I want to remember how having Spring baby has felt. The way I wake up and see long shards of light on our bedroom wall, peeking around our black out blinds and curtains, which definitely don't 'black out' the room. I want to remember how much I have enjoyed certain luxuries like a small glass of chilled white wine in the evening, and our favourite chocolate ice creams that we've had occasionally during Ruby's afternoon nap time, along with a cup of coffee. I love combining a hot drink with cold food (but never the other way around). I want to remember how much I have loved seeing the bright blue skies and Spring blossom everywhere we look - Ruby was born in the Winter and I adored the coziness of having a baby at that time of year - but this is equally as wonderful in a very different way. I want to remember the evening walks I have been taking with Jude sound asleep in the sling during these first few weeks. Having the time to stretch my legs and enjoy the last light of the day has been such a pleasure.

I want to remember how Jude doesn't have quite the same newborn curled up legs as most baby's have, which I am almost certain is due to being breech with one leg flexed, one extended until I was 37 weeks pregnant. I want to remember the way that Jude seems less inclined to be comforted by nursing when he is tired, but prefers to be held upright, curled up against my chest. And again, I can't help but wonder if this is because he was most comfortable in the womb in this position, and only spent the last three weeks of gestation with his head down.

I want to remember the myriad of facial expressions a newborn baby makes in the matter of a few short seconds. These are three photos that I took in a sequence of about twenty other shots, all with hilarious results. (The photo below is post-sneeze, which involves Jude's whole body, chin, arms and legs all tucked in as the sneeze hits with full force. Brilliant.)

I want to remember the way my baby is covered in downy blonde hair that's so fine it looks a little bit like fluff. It won't last and if I don't write about it I'll forget. In these early weeks of having a new baby, I am once again reminded of how invaluable it is to write in order to remember.