sleep.

There's nothing more peaceful than a sleeping baby, right? At least I think that's how the saying goes. I think it might be more fitting to say that there's nothing more peaceful than a parent when their baby / toddler is sleeping. Because sleep deprivation is a form of torture. 

I am fairly sure that most parents could write chronicles on their babies and sleep. Unless of course, you're the unusual exception of parent who has a baby that just sleeps. But that wouldn't make for great stories to share with friends through mild hysteria from a few years of sleep deprivation. I can assure you I fall into the latter category, not the former. I have written many, many blog posts in my head about how to perfect ninja moves at 4am to avoid the squeaky floorboards & how it's possible but immensely uncomfortable to sleep with your head on your toddler's bed while she holds you in a sleeping head lock, but I never actually write those words down. 

I thought I would share the story behind this photo of my sweet sleeping daughter, because I think it makes for a more interesting photo when you know the story behind it, and also to remind myself that even though on this occasion, she needed to be holding my hand in order to fall asleep, this is just a phase that will not last long. In the years to come, I can imagine myself longing to have those moments back, where my daughter needed me to be close at hand. 

I took this photo on Wednesday morning last week, which was much the same as any other morning. Ruby had woken up at 5am, and as a result, she was ready for her one nap of the day by 8.30am. By the time 8.30am rolled around, she had eaten a three course breakfast (the first course included a granola course in our bed, resulting in crumbs everywherere. I think that crumbs in bed comes pretty close to being as bad as the irritation of getting bitten by Mosquitos at night), watered the plants, read a library's worth of books, sung her entire repertoire of songs and was so exhausted that she couldn't possibly imagine doing anything else without a nap. Meantime, I was giving my husband my crazy eyed look that says, 'how on earth am I going to get through the day if she naps now?!' And maybe going a little bit wild as she launched my laptop onto the floor and put all the clean laundry back into the dirty laundry basket for the umpteenth time. All this happened before I've managed to leave the bedroom, thanks to my kind husband doing the breakfast feast while I lie very still in our granola ridden bed, trying to avoid the feeling of crumbs coming anywhere near me. 

Parenting a baby or toddler can often feel like survival is the main goal, and sometimes you've just got to do what is necessary to survive. If that means holding my daughter's hand with my forehead rested against hers in a way that's comfortable for her, and immensely uncomfortable for me, then so be it. In my case, it also might involve more than a healthy amount of caffeine and chocolate.