in memoriam :: Hazel Page

It is with sadness that I write this post to share with you that last night, my wonderful grandmother died. 

We knew the end was in sight for her, as her health has been gradually deteriorating over quite some time now, but even when you know that grief is approaching, the loss is no smaller when that moment arrives. I am so thankful that over the last few months I have been able to see quite a lot of my Nanny, and while it was often sad to see how frail her body was becoming, it was a gift to see that her spirit was still strong.


When I first heard the song 10,000 reasons a few months ago, it struck a chord with me in light of my Nanny's ill health. For the last couple of days on my journey to work, it has played on my current car playlist & the weight of the words have felt that much greater and closer as it looked like her final days on earth were here.

and on that day when my strength is failing, 
the end draws near and my time has come,
still my soul will sing your praise unending,
ten thousand years and then forever more.

My Nanny loved Jesus, and I have always known this about her. After my Dad called last night to say that she has gone to be with the Lord, I was thinking about how the reason I grieve the loss is because of her. Without her, I would not be here. Over the last couple of years I have thought often about my heritage in the Lord, and the influence that the prayers and life lived by my Nanny & Grandad have influenced my faith in God.

Early last year, I had written to my Nanny, and thanked her for raising her four daughters in the knowledge of Jesus, that they might share that faith with their children. I shared with her my hope that through her suffering with poor health, she still knew the joy of the Lord in her life. I was so thrilled to receive a letter in reply - arthritis had run its course in her hands which made writing incredibly difficuly. In that letter she was honest that her health did get her down, but 'my faith never waivers.'

As the grief settled in last night, I was reminded of what my wise uncle had said to me at the age of 16 as tears rolled down my face at the death of my Grandad (Nanny's beloved, amazing husband). 'The sadness we feel is selfish - we grieve because of our loss, not his. He gets to spend an eternity with Jesus - we have to carry on life without him, and
that is what's painful.' My first reaction was to think that for my uncle to say I was selfish was unkind, but the Lord quickly taught me exactly what he meant. There is a verse in the Bible that says,

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 

Ecclesiastes 3: 11.

God can set the hope of eternity in our hearts which is quite an incredible thought, when for so much of the time, our eyes & hearts are fixed on the here and now on earth. Before my Nanny moved into a nursing home, she said to my Mum, 'the next place I want to go is heaven.' Her heart was set on her eternal destination, and her hope was in the promise of eternal life that came through Jesus dying on the cross, and thankfully, she didn't have too much longer to wait when she spoke of her desire to go to heaven.

Nanny with her four daughters :: 28th October 2011