Friday, 31 October 2008

come away with me

This morning the sun was shining gloriously in its Autumn splendour and all I wanted to do was go out and breathe in the crisp air and capture the moments & colours of Autumn on camera....Sadly this did not happen. I have run out of ordinary film - I only have black and white and some very low speed colour at the moment. So, in order to combine a run with purchasing some film, I donned my running gear & my rucksack with camera and lenses packed, and set out for the supermarket.

My plan was to buy some film then run to Oldbury Court Estate to snap, snap away, then read in the sunshine. I had even planned to process my film this very day, then scan in my shots because I can do that from the comfort of my own home these days, and share my morning adventure with you.

However, it was not to be. It was not as though disaster struck. My plan simply got thwarted by my other plans, my common sense (or is it foolishness that says, 'get on with the things that need to be done'), and the annoyance of my rucksack bouncing up and down and inhibiting the movement of my arms as I ran. All the while I had been planning the adventure I have just described, I had that list (although somewhat jumbled, as is always the case in my brain) going round my head of all the little jobs I wanted to get done today, and knew that I would achieve far less in terms of my list if I were to go on this run and take the time to enjoying this beautiful time of year which does not last long enough.

So, rather than carry on running, I turned around and came home. No film, no photos, no lasting evidence of this beautiful day.

Sometimes I wish it was possible for our brains to only think of one thing at a time. For much of my waking hours, I am thinking about three or more things. Like right now, I'm thinking as I type of whether I am going to read before going to bed, and if so, which of the three books I have on the go should I read. Is this simply a female problem, a human problem, an issue of indecisiveness or lack of ability to organise my time well? Is this something we develop in adulthood as a result of losing our childish ignorance and having growing responsibility? If so, is that ignorance such a bad thing if it means you enjoy life more?

Maybe I am rambling far too much about this, but it helps me to think to type it all out. And I feel I need to because it bothers me that I am doing what I do not want to do - I am letting other things (which could, in reality wait just a little longer) get in the way of enjoying the here and now, even if that is just going outside to enjoy the sun and the beautiful colours of Autumn.

Photo taken 4 years ago at Westonbirt Arboretum on my first trip there. It took my breath away.

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